"Does God really take the
hard (bad, messy) things
and turn them into
Does he understand my pain? Does he care? I know that
I have asked. I am sure many others have had the same questions or doubts. Do you want to know the truth of it? He understands!
GOD REALLY DOES!
Six weeks later she came down with the stomach flu again and was held overnight in the hospital. While our daughter was in the hospital, the doctor took a look at our son and said she suspected something was wrong. She recommended that he have a CAT scan.
This surgery came with a 100% chance it would necessitate a blood transfusion. I did not like the idea that he would lose so much blood they would need to put more back into him. Of course I was praying that God would please just heal him so he wouldn’t need to have surgery.
During this time I was getting VERY little sleep and our two year old daughter was having a lot of behavior problems ( 9 months ago she was diagnosed on the Autism spectrum). I was asking God,
Around 11: 00 pm my husband left to go back to the Ronald McDonald house (they only let one parent stay over night in ICU). Forty-five minutes after Tim left, our son stopped breathing.
All the nurses and doctors rushed into his ICU room. I remember my prayer was only, "Jesus help him" and "this is not suppose to happen." After what seemed like forever (it might have been a minute) Cade started breathing on his own. They said it was the pain medication and if he hadn't started breathing on his own again they would have had to give him something that would take the pain medicine out of his system. He would then wake up in a lot of pain.
That's when I knew that God understood exactly what I was going through. I knew he cared. I didn’t have to ask why any more. God later gave me this poem.
When the pain is real
And the pain is deep
And you think your all alone
That's when the Father
Holds us close
And comfort to us is shown
This truth I hold
To me is clear
For He whispered in my ear
I Gave My Only Son
For I know just how you feel
Miscarrying had been a very sad time for me but I remembered throughout the experience what God told me and I did not have to ask him why. I even knew he prepared me beforehand. He had already used something that was hard and turned it into something good.
Of course there were many things that I had to work through, but in time he took my tears of pain and turned them to tears of Joy. One way was the birth of our youngest, Ivy, which in Hebrew means 'God’s Gift.' And she truly has been a gift (that is another story I will write another time).
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if the thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life,
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?
This would have been her 4th Birthday.
And there are tears of pain
Both are healing Both are gain!
Even though tears may
Fall for a season
It is only a SEASON
And during that season
He is always by your side
More than anyone I know
He is the Healing
He is the Comfort
He is the Reason
To want to face another day
And with His Grace
It slowly turns
Turns to hope
Hope of more-
More than what you knew before
And in time it comes-
His Love, His Joy, His Peace
Like a fragrant rain
Washing away the tears
And making you New again!
What if the trials of this life are just
Your mercies in disguise?
Posted by Rebecca Steel Jeter and hosted by Calling Shotgun!
(Original art and photos by the author and/or family)